Its The Final Countdown! (da la da da da)

Only four days until the final weigh in and remarkably both boys have already lost the three stone intended, reaching their featherweight level in less than four months, skimpy pants a must though... every ounce counts!

Could any of the Desperate Housewives have as much will power? Come on girls anyone up to the task? Sorry Jo, you'll have to be excluded from this one, you are far too skinny already! Fancy being our Guru?

Now, don't get lulled into a false sense of security and reach for the beer and curry boys, we know you have been longingly dreaming about it, just hold out for a few more days. This weeks weigh in will give a whole new meaning to 'TFI Friday' but remember you will still have to wait until Saturday night for your nose bag!

Preparation is secretly underway for the announcement of the winner (any cheating or medical help from Dr Janet to be taken into account) with all to be revealed during our hopefully sumptuous dinner at The Newbridge.

Before and after photographs to be posted next week !

CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND THE GOOSE IS GETTING FAT.

Talk is now underway as to the next challenge for the boys, will it be a Triathlon?
Half Marathon?
First to get a 'Six Pack'?
First to reach the necessary level for Cardiffs 'Strictly Come Salsa' championship?
A stint in 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' with their new found friend Chris Evans or maybe something a bit less challenging.....
How about the first to put the weight back on again, and then some? Ideas welcome.

COULD THE RUMOURS INDEED BE TRUE?

Yes ! We have heard it from the horses mouth! Chris Evans is backing the Newbridge on Usk in partnership with 'two cracking lads' from the Celtic Manor who wanted to go it themselves.

We wait in anticipation for the new gastro menu for our celebratory nosh on December 1st with our very own 'two cracking lads', the Bruiser Taylor and Two Puddings Morley.

Confirmation of the three stone barrier awaits us next Friday.....Rock On !

SLIM AND TRIM

Feast your eyes on the new and improved Two Puddings Morley!

Hands off girls he's mine xxx

Two Puddings reaches the two and a half stone barrier and is fighting fit for the final push to reach the ultimate goal. The Bruiser is still to reveal his current weight loss, however, his plans to have a spray tan and chest wax have been leaked to the public at large so confidence levels must be high!

Plans are afoot to organise the big night out on Friday November 30th and as our friends have supported this venture from the start we thought it only right to include them in the celebration. Put the date in your diary now!

Details to be posted next week.

THIS WEEKS NEWS

Real Radio has somehow got hold of the details of the boys challenge and has publicised the 18 in 4 diet which has been sweeping the country. They have very kindly offered the winner, an all expenses paid, two day break in Paris with two of his mates.

So, if any of the Bruisers or Two Puddings friends are reading this and you are free on Monday 3rd and Tuesday 4th December please get in touch, they need somebody to put the bins out !!!!

Bruiser Taylor in Liposuction Scam

Could it possibly be the same Vince Taylor who strenuously denied accusations of gamesmanship at the outset of the diet, that has been seen leaving a leading Pontypool Lifestyle spa following a string of secret afternoon Liposuction sessions. The spa, which shares premises with the towns foremost lap dancing and cocktail lounge has declined to comment.

If recent reports of the ex-bruiser and his new physique are to be believed then it could well be true, alleged sources allege.

As the often ill-tempered competition enters its final two months, all eyes are on the two combatants. Whilst the younger and much lighter Two Puddings has edged ahead in the past weeks, big things are expected of the Bruiser following his exertions (concept 2?) of the week as a key weigh-in takes place tomorrow.

The apparently much better looking Vincent certainly appears to have regained his enthusiasm for matters following his ill fated 18 (Gin and Tonics) in 4 (hours) diet. Certainly if some of the cheap shots (all untrue of course) posted on this blog by the 18 stone 45 year old are to be believed, then we are in for an interesting couple of months.

Thoughts are inevitably turning to the winners spoils, and concerns have been expressed in the younger mans camp that following the Bulimic Bruisers acquisition of a new weekend estate in Cornwall, funds might not be in place should he happen to lose this wager.

Details are to be released soon of the grand weigh-in evening event. The Usk Desperate Housewives have engaged the local WI to manufacture special over sized silk shorts for the big event, and Bunnings have sponsored the evenings Baby Oil. In scenes reminisent of the Full Monty, it is expected that the Showman Vince will demonstrate the full benefit of those long afternoons spent at his secret Pontypool hideaway.

TWO PUDDINGS MAKES A COMEBACK

Terry has fought back and is currently in the lead again after completing another four days on the 18 in 4 diet. He has successfully reached the 28 lb milestone and has only 1 more stone to go before the challenge is completed.

His ego is being very nicely massaged with all the attention he is now getting on the female front and he is now thoroughly enjoying reaping the fruits of his labour.


NEWS FLASH Next weeks weigh in will be crucial as Two Puddings secret diet plan has been leaked to the Bruiser.... investigators are looking into the matter and considering instigating foul play charges..... more on this news later.

FACT OF THE DAY
Scientists have discovered that men diagnosed as obese have a much higher level of the female hormone, oestrogen, than those of a healthy weight, who have increased levels of the male hormone testosterone.

Watch out for the signs girls and get your man to eat a few more pies if they fail to do the ironing and fetch cups of tea on demand !!

THE USK SHOW 2007

Last week Vince received first prize for best in show (even though he left his nose ring on the bedside table)

He was spotted with chest puffed out and stomach held in, carrying a rather fetching wicker basket, full to the brim with freshly baked rolls. This impressed the judges immensely and clinched this weeks prize. Well done Vince, keep up the good work.

Sarah plans to spend his prize money on some new snazzy pants as we are told the old grey ones were beginning to look rather tired and not very alluring.

4 KGS DOES NOT A STONE MAKE !!

Had to laugh over comment that Vince has allegedly lost his first stone following his big day out at the races. Can only think he meant he lost £14 not 14lbs !!
Maybe the bruiser need a maths lesson, or was he talking to God on the big white telephone before quickly jumping on the scales Monday night whilst wearing his beer goggles?

Me thinks he is up to his no good cheating tactics after hearing about Terry two puddings Morleys fantastic weight loss, last week, of 11lbs ( thanks Amanda ! ) Will have to get Sarah to verify the bruisers results from now on........the gloves are now officially off !


VINCE IMPORTANT NOTE : 1kg = 2.205 lbs


WEIGHT LOSS RULES

Rule 1: Only Friday morning weigh ins can be officially recorded.
( in yer pants )

Rule 2: Weight loss shall be verified by wives.
(preferably over a skinny latte)

Rule 3: Weight loss shall be recorded in lbs
(so as not to confuse the bruiser!)

Chocolate Croissants and Sea Food Delights

Less than two weeks into the regime and disaster strikes the younger contender following overindulgence on a weekend trip to La Rochelle. Playing his trump card he plans to make a come back. Following advice from fitness consultant and desperate housewife Amanda, he reverts to the 18lbs in 4 days diet. Pressure is now mounting for Fridays big weigh in but will his will power hold up?

Quick Sarah, I Can't Keep Breathing In For Much Longer

Vince thinks he can fool everyone simply by crossing his arms in front of his Beer Belly !

Three Stone Marathon

It was during the last supper, Joannes 40th bash, that the wager began.
With a skin full of champagne it seemed like an easily achievable goal and a great idea.
The following day the realisation set in, but there was no going back. A deal is a deal.
Three bellies, Three Months, Three Stone.

Follow our weekly highs and lows in our marathon weight loss.
Winner to be announced at the Grand Weigh in (in yer pants) on 26th November 2007.
Prize: Loser to pay for slap up meal at restaurant of winners choice.